What About Me? The Power of Choosing Yourself Without Guilt

Welcome Back to Be Brazen w/ Tae!

Hey ladies, and welcome to Week Two, Entry Two of Be Brazen w/ Tae! Today, we’re diving into the power of choosing you—without guilt, hesitation, or second-guessing.

Before we dive in, I want to say thank you for showing back up. Not just for supporting me, but for showing up for yourself. Because sis, this right here—reading this, being present, leaning in—is you choosing you. And that takes courage.

For many women, prioritizing themselves feels uncomfortable, heavy, or even wrong. That discomfort isn’t just in your head. It’s tied to years of conditioning and cultural messages that say your worth comes from serving others first. Choosing yourself often triggers guilt because you’re breaking a long-standing pattern.

But here’s the truth: self-prioritization is an act of courage and love that fuels your confidence and well-being. Today, we’re unpacking why this feels so hard and how you can start to gently choose yourself without guilt or hesitation.

The Game You’re Playing

When I was in coaching school, they shared a saying that stuck with me: “Everyone is always winning the game they are playing.”

What that means is simple: you are working perfectly to produce the results you’re currently getting. So, if you’re constantly putting others first, neglecting your own needs, and ignoring what matters to you, then guess what? You’re winning at that game. But it’s time to ask yourself: is that the game you really want to keep playing?

Last week, we talked about burnout and running in survival mode. This week, let’s go a little deeper and define the signs so you know exactly what you’re facing, because awareness is the first step to healing.

Signs You’re Running on Empty

One key takeaway: Burnout often starts with stress piling up, while emotional depletion happens when your inner well runs dry after giving so much of yourself for so long.

 Defeating the Guilt Trip

This is where guilt sneaks in when you’re burned out and emotionally depleted. Guilt convinces us that choosing ourselves means abandoning others, but that’s a lie we’ve been conditioned to believe.

The truth is, constantly ignoring your own needs to meet everyone else’s is not love or loyalty. It is a slow form of self-abandonment.

Self-abandonment happens when you put others’ needs, feelings, and desires ahead of your own, often causing you to suppress or neglect your own well-being. It keeps you stuck playing a supporting role in everyone else’s story while never stepping into the lead role in your own.

Challenging Your Guilt

I want you to grab your journal and reflect on these questions:

• Do I feel guilty when I try to rest or take a break—and if so, why?
• When I say “no,” do I second-guess myself or feel like I owe an explanation?
• What beliefs make putting myself first feel selfish or wrong?
• Am I afraid that needing space or silence will disappoint someone I care about?
• Why do I feel guilty for beginning to heal—and who taught me that needing healing is a problem?

Changing the Game: Habits are the Answer

You’re probably wondering: how do I change the game I’m playing?

Let’s talk about habits. I’ve learned that how we do one thing is how we do everything. If you’re constantly choosing to give yourself away, you won’t be able to show up fully for your health, your finances, your career, and your connection to something greater.

Journal Prompts for Growth

I want you to open your journal and reflect on these prompts. Take your time, be honest, and let them guide you toward self-awareness:

• What small, consistent habit can I start today that honors my needs and helps me show up fully for myself?
• Which negative habits am I holding onto that no longer serve my well-being, and what fears come up when I think about letting them go?
• How can I create daily rituals that reinforce self-care and support my emotional, mental, and physical health?
• Who or what can I lean on for accountability and encouragement as I work to build healthier habits and break old patterns?

Why These Questions Matter

When I began my healing journey, I never considered how my daily habits contributed to my confidence or happiness. But once I focused on areas I wanted to improve—like cultivating a more positive mindset—I created a simple action plan.

I committed to four daily habits:

1. Listening to uplifting podcasts.
2. Reading an entry from a Bible Study and reflecting on its meaning.
3. Journaling about my emotions.
4. Exercising at least three times a week.

At first, I didn’t realize the impact, but over time, my self-confidence grew. I started thinking more constructively, making better decisions, and approaching situations with clarity. I felt happier, more at ease, and more in control of my daily life. These small, intentional habits became a pathway to rediscovering myself and breaking away from autopilot mode.

My Current Morning Routine: A Confidence-Boosting Habit

One of the most impactful habits I’ve developed is my intentional morning routine. I wake up at 6:00 AM and dedicate the first two hours of my day to self-care and mindfulness.

• I start with journaling to reflect and set a positive tone.
• Then, I cook and enjoy a nourishing breakfast.
• Next comes my self-care: showering, skincare, oral hygiene, and moisturizing.
• I get dressed in pre-planned outfits.
• Before heading out, I pack my lunch while listening to a sermon, a practice that keeps me grounded and spiritually aligned.

By 8:30 AM, I’m at work. The best part? I’m not rushing. I leave my house feeling put-together, confident, and fully prepared. Having this structure ensures I show up as my best self—mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Building Your Own Confidence-Boosting Habit

I encourage you to start building habits—no matter how small—that help you feel your most confident self.

To help you confidently answer, “What’s one small habit you could implement today to build your confidence?”, let’s break it down:

Step 1: Self-Reflection on Confidence

• When do you feel most confident in your daily life? (e.g., when you’re well-prepared, after exercising, when dressed nicely, etc.)
• What is one area of your life where you currently lack confidence? (e.g., speaking up at work, social interactions, body image, decision-making, etc.)

Step 2: Identifying Helpful Habits

• What’s one small action you’ve taken in the past that made you feel more confident, even if just for a moment?
• If you had five extra minutes in your day just for yourself, how would you use it to feel more self-assured?

Step 3: Making It Actionable

• What is one easy habit you could start today that aligns with building your confidence? (e.g., writing down three things you love about yourself, practicing better posture, repeating a positive affirmation, etc.)
• How can you make this habit simple and achievable so that you stick with it?

By answering these questions, I hope you gain clarity in choosing a simple, meaningful habit to implement today!

Final Thoughts

Remember, building small, consistent habits that honor your needs is not just self-care, it’s a powerful way to boost your self-confidence. Each intentional step you take to prioritize yourself reinforces your worth and helps you show up as the bold, radiant woman you truly are. Keep choosing you, with love and courage, and watch your confidence soar.

I want to thank each of you for sticking with me through Week Two, Entry Two. Your support and engagement mean so much to me! I’d love to hear your thoughts—how did this reflection make you feel? Drop your insights in the comments below! 

Have a beautiful rest of your week, and be sure to check us out on Instagram @herradiancellc.

Until next time…

~ Be Brazen w/ Tae 🔥