Hey Ladies, and welcome to Week Three, Entry Three of Be Brazen w/ Tae! Today, I want to talk about rediscovering yourself beneath all the roles you play in life.
This week’s post was inspired by a video my friend Destiny shared with me from Oprah’s podcast, “Oprah and Dr. Thema Bryant on How You Are Worthy of the Life You Want.” In it, a woman named Nastassja shared her story of being a teen mom who struggled with feelings of unworthiness. She felt labeled as just another statistic, and to prove herself, she pushed hard to earn her Doctorate in Nursing. But in doing so, she felt like she neglected the people she loved the most.
Hearing her story stirred something deep inside me, memories of my own emotional neglect, especially from my parents. I remember feeling like my mother dealt with me in passing, a situation that started when I got pregnant at fifteen.
Before I go deeper, let me properly introduce myself. Hey ladies, I’m Artavia, aka Tae, CEO of HER Radiance L.L.C., which also operates as Be Brazen w/ Tae. I’m 27 years old, born and raised in New Haven, Connecticut. I’m the youngest of three and the only girl, with two older brothers, one of whom is eight years older than me. Growing up was tough, wild, and sometimes rough, but I’ve always been the emotional anchor for my family.
I’ve accomplished a lot in my 27 years, but those achievements came with scars, pain and emotional wounds I ignored until I hit a breaking point.
The High-Achieving Mask: When Roles Become Armor
At 21, I was in a relationship that triggered the little girl inside me, the part still carrying unhealed wounds. That relationship opened emotional scars I’d been avoiding by staying busy, partying, and pouring myself into others and situations that didn’t serve me.
It was easier to distract myself than to honestly face my pain. But avoiding healing only prolonged my suffering.
In November 2023, I hit a breaking point, completely burned out and emotionally exhausted. I reached out to an old-school guidance counselor, Anderlove Fequiere-Smith, and signed up for therapy. I was at the end of that relationship and realized just how far I had drifted from myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore, what I wanted, needed, or truly deserved. All I knew was that I felt wounded, broken, exhausted, angry, and completely out of alignment.
Facing Emotional Wounds
During therapy, I spoke about feeling physically, emotionally, and mentally abandoned by my mother when I was fifteen and pregnant. I had a lot of anger but didn’t know how to express it without sounding hurt, angry, or resentful, especially around my mom or anyone who hurt me.
I remember sitting with my then-boyfriend, his mom, and my mom to tell her I was pregnant. Her reaction was anger. She told me I wasn’t having a baby because I had a future ahead of me and that she didn’t have the means to take care of another child. It wasn’t her explanation that hurt me most, it was her emotional distance.
She made me schedule my own abortion and didn’t plan to go with me. I had to ask if she would come, and I remember her cool, uninterested response. She never checked in emotionally afterward, not to ask how I felt, if I needed anything, or how she could comfort me. Instead, I pushed through, graduating middle school and entering high school like nothing happened.
The Overachiever’s Path
This pattern stayed with me through my teenage years and into adulthood. I stayed busy, partying, pouring into others, and pushing myself to overachieve.
In my senior year of high school, I went full-time at school while taking college courses at Southern Connecticut State University and Gateway Community College. I worked two jobs, one at Expressions sneaker store and one as a homemaker and companion. I graduated from James Hillhouse High School in the top ten of my class and entered Western Connecticut State University with nine scholarships.
During undergrad, I juggled two jobs, and in 2020, I earned my Bachelor’s degree in Health Science (Health Promotion Studies) with a concentration in Holistic Health. Along the way, I became a Certified Yoga Teacher (CYT 200) and a Level I and II Reiki Practitioner. In 2022, I added a Certified Yoni Steam Practitioner certification, and in 2023, I pursued my Master’s Degree in Public Health, which I completed in December 2024, all while working three jobs at once.
You might wonder how I found the time. Honestly, it was tough, taxing on my body, mind, and spirit, and it strained my relationships. Like Nastassja, I felt I had something to prove, burying unresolved pain that I never took time to heal.
Reclaiming My Authentic Self
By the end of last year, I reached a turning point. I decided to stop neglecting my physical health, body, and mind. I resigned from two jobs, made an exit plan from my full-time role, relaunched my business, and embraced a new, healing version of myself. I chose to remain single and focus on the relationships that matter most, especially the one with my mother.
Now, my identity isn’t defined by degrees, certifications, or licenses. It’s about being the fullest, most authentic version of myself, feeling at peace, genuinely happy, doing what I love, helping others heal, celebrating breakthroughs, and building meaningful, supportive relationships.
Reflective Questions for You
As I close, I want to leave you with three questions to reflect on:
- Are you operating from your true identity?
- If not, ask yourself, am I overachieving to fill a void? Is that keeping me out of alignment with who I truly am?
- Who am I when no one needs, expects, or defines me, and what parts of that woman have I been silencing?
Thank you for joining me for Week Three, Entry Three. I hope this entry resonated with you and gave you meaningful reflections. I’d love to hear how this made you feel. Your feedback means so much to me.
Have a beautiful rest of your week, and be sure to check us out on Instagram @herradiancellc. Next week, we’ll explore coming home to yourself without needing to have it all figured out. The start of your personal transformation journey.
Remember, we’ll be back next Tuesday at 7 PM EST.
~Be Brazen w/ Tae 🔥
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